It is a pity that the airline temporarily left the market - it is comfortable and clean on airplanes, calm, quiet music plays before and during takeoff. Departures and arrivals on time.
At Znamenka 2018, Vovka's wife, Lena, told a story about how that year they flew to Tenerife with transfers in Moscow, Paris and Barcelona, and back through Madrid.
And, it so happened that on the way there, Iberia lost their flippers from their luggage.
Lena pouted and went to pump her license:
“Here is the baggage receipt for the fins, and the fins have flown away. Giv mi help!”
An employee of Iberia asked Lena:
— How much did your fins cost when you bought them?
— Two thousand! Lena answered quite honestly.
— Oh, no! We will not compensate for 2000, only 200.
Lena spat and agreed to at least 200.
As a result, they were compensated 200 euros, despite the fact that the fins cost 2000 rubles. As they say, “Without sin and fullness” — Lena did not lie at all and she did not have a plan to “shoe” the airline, at the same time she managed to shoe Iberia. Into the flippers.
I wrote and remembered how long ago, back in the good old days, I flew to Hurghada with as many as three transfers, such was the flight. Flights need to be made either with very large stocks, or from one airline. In this scenario, even if your plane is late, you will simply be put on the next one. And it can be easy to be late, even easily, for example, because of the fog. While if there are different AK in a composite flight and everything is right next to each other, then “he is a fool” that he did not have time.
That was the time of free flights across Europe for 5 euros. The main thing is to make it to the sale in advance, there were even tickets for 2 euros. Well, then you could spit on these tickets if suddenly the plans change. 10 euros is not a big loss.
The flight was a composite one, with large time gaps, but terribly cheap. Cheaper than a direct charter, for some reason.
In those glorious pre-crisis times, this was normal. You could fly from Moscow to Australia for $25. At that time, it was possible to fly from Moscow to Hurghada via London (??!) cheaper than directly.
Moreover, moving from airport to airport in London did not require a British visa at that time, there was a “green” transit outside the airport by land.
It's like miracles! It was long before the notorious poisoning of the Skripals by Petrov and Boshirov.
I had an 8 hour break in Munich. We got there on time. And here I am in the transit zone, with a backpack and no luggage.
When you fly with transfers of one AK, you do not need to get a suitcase at the joints. Only at the end.
I walked around, studied the toilet and the waiting room, and decided to find a free dining room here, like in Sheremetyevo.
I just assumed that she should be here too. In the Balloon, I remind you, a bottle of 0.5 liters of water costs from 100 rubles in the vending machine. However, in the local canteen, which is there for the staff, you can have lunch in the amount of 250 rubles.
By the way, along the way: right at the Arbatskaya station of the 4th line, there is a buffet downstairs.
Using the same logic, I found a worn, worn door without a sign, went through it, confidently turned right, in confirmation of the correctness of the chosen direction, two completely identical uniformed staffs passed towards me one after the other; I went up to the floor above, once again to the right, sniffed. No. It doesn't smell like food, it smells like freshener.
There is no catering here. There's a toilet somewhere. And what if it's lower?
I went down to the floor and sniffed again:
— Oh! I smell! There she is, even lower! — I went there and ...I went outside to the red booth with hot dogs. I ate one, with a Coke. And then I suddenly realized that I had gone outside the airport.
I decided to take a walk — well, there's just a lot of time, and when will I get out to Munich again?
I walk, look at the ruined streets where the water pipes are being changed, moreover, to steel pipes with a polyethylene insert inside so as not to rust, I was surprised by a compact excavator with a bucket the size of a trash can. Then I took a bus and went somewhere, got out, switched to a blue three-car tram, dreamed that it would be nice for us to do the same in Moscow, drove, got out and found something like a local actor's house on the right, went there in search of a toilet on the second floor and found myself at some kind of buffet doctors, among whom there were Russian-speaking characters.
It seems like there was a party there from Bayer. Anyway, their logo was everywhere.
And I immediately became a doctor! He picked up the advertisements from the table at the entrance, took a glass of red wine, put kebabs, lettuce and onions on a plate, and stuck to the group that spoke Russian.
There, a young Jew who looked like Rudolf Messing told colleagues that Bayer had a fantastic drug — you inject 2 cubes into a corpse and you can talk to him for 40 minutes.
— Come on!!! I couldn't help myself.
— Honestly! However, he does not answer ...
After that, I, so well-fed and satisfied, went back and forth, stared, and eventually returned to the airport.
I came in from the main entrance, I'm trying to get into the transit zone, but they won't let me in.
Although the word “TRANSIT” sounds like a pass everywhere.
— Well, how is that? I'm legal here! Here is main ausweisen, main combine reisen, TRANSIT, here is the ticket, rid mi, I have a flight to Hurghada afte tu klok! I have a hotel paid for there, here's a voucher.
—I'm sorry,— the Hans replied, "but we can't let you out of Germany because you haven't arrived yet.
— But how is that?! Here I am! Here are my paws and tail! Here is my boarding pass for the flight to Munich! Here is the stamp that I left Russia today. Ai go tu Haifa Egypshen! Help me!
— There is a stamp on leaving Russia, no one is arguing against this, but there is no entry into Germany. Listen, — they asked me “conspiratorially”, - and how did you get out on the street?
— Well, I was looking for a cafe and went downstairs, bought a hot dog and a coke there, here's a package from donner, and then decided to go back through the main entrance, — I told them, hiding my walking around Munich and participating in a partner conference of doctors.
— Listen, do you remember the way here, that staircase and the hot dog stand, the turns?
- yes!
— Please take the same route back to the transit area. Can you do it?
— Of course!
And, of course, I could. Sometimes I even worry that I'm not a terrorist. Because, sometimes, such wonderful opportunities turn up that you can significantly drag a fire extinguisher on board. Just what for?
By the way, it was only in 2022 that I realized why public transport in Moscow is blue.
At first, when I arrived in Moscow, it infuriated and annoyed me.
After all, trams should logically be red, and buses should be yellow.
It turned out that it was a copy paste, tracing paper from Munich. Apparently, someone from the Moscow leadership visited there and was inspired. As in the case of the Post-bank in Turkey.
Arkady Glazyrin-Uralsky
26.08.2022