California Apart Hotel
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+90 252 616 68 39
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24 hours
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11 reviews
April 13
"The Hotel "Sleep in Hell": Turkey, Oludeniz, adrenaline is included in the price!"
Dear fans of extreme sports and fans of "travel horror", I hasten to share the unique experience of staying in a hotel where every day is a quest for survival!
1. Sofa aromatherapist.
Our room was decorated with a sofa, generously "watered" by previous guests. The fragrance? It's a cross between a puddle in the entrance and a zoo in August. Apparently, this is part of the "natural perfume from Mother Nature" program. Thank you, now I know what despair smells like!
2. Vampire mosquitoes.
The room was inhabited by an army of mosquitoes, who were training for the World Cup in bloodsucking sports. Apparently, the administration decided: why pay for excursions if you can arrange a safari on your own ankles?
3. The drain is a portal to the underworld.
The shower was filled with a clogged drain, where hair, feces and, it seems, the souls of sinners were hanging out together. Water treatments have turned into a meditation on: "Am I going to drown first, or is it water?"
4. A pool with a "personal demon".
The pool! Clean, handsome... but guarded by a pervert bartender who apparently auditioned for the role of a soap opera villain. He zealously defended the water from the guests, but actively flirted with 80-year-old British women. Apparently, he has a fetish for knitted sweaters and hearing aids.
5. Night jazz-rock drilling.
At 3 a.m., a "concert" began under the window: a local craftsman drilled into the wall, apparently trying to get to the core of the Earth. Bonus: he was accompanied by a drunken seagull with a megaphone. Free earplugs? No, you haven't.
Result:
If you want to feel like the hero of the movie "The Survivor", but with a comedic twist — this is your hotel! Here, even the most resilient will learn to appreciate home... and disinfection.
Recommendation: Take a change of clothes, a bottle of bleach and a sense of humor. Without the latter, it is impossible to survive!
P.S. I'm duplicating the name of the hotel, California Apart Hotel, in case they pay me for advertising. Or they'll be challenged to a duel by that very bartender.
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1
October 29, 2024
We stopped 2 times. A simple place, do not sweat much, relaxed staff, stress in everything, openness to early arrivals and late departures. Cheap and quiet.
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October 27, 2023
Very nice staff, clean rooms, hot water, convenient location to the Lycian trail and infrastructure.
Near the Dolmusha bus stop, many restaurants, shops
The owner is like a kind and responsive Dad 🫶🏻
See original · Русский